Sooooooo, after 3 years of running a health centre, and raising the bar at which we operate, I look back and realise that the 'elite' team only functions when I am pressing them to function. They don't want to work so hard. They don't care about efficiency. They are there for the 8am-4pm (all running off at 2pm). They like the lyme when it occurs. They like the freeness. But they just don't share the vision. I didn't want to leave a legacy. I didn't want tales to be told and ballads to be sung, but I did want to leave behind a team functioning so optimally (given the lack of resources) that any successor will be forced to step up their game to offer the same level of service. I wanted them to be more than the cliched government worker.I also had manic grandiose ideas of changing the face of the community people. I wanted them to lift themselves up to a different level. That was a crack-pipe dream! It is almost impossible to change a fractured community of 10,000,all struggling to shine or matter in ways that debase rather than uplift themselves, 1 person at a time. Very little stuck! The few who learned did so just to navigate me. Support staff didn't.I don't see myself as a rose among thistles. I don't see myself as water to parched soil. But I did think that my brand of manure could fertilize a few arid areas.I did learn that the job didn't come with its own dreams. Those I had to furnish. I did learn that I didn't have to get sucked into the system, become part of the collective. I did learn the meaning of throwing pearls to swine. I did learn about counting chickens before they are hatched. I did learn about pastor christening him pickney first.But I also learned about patience, service, seeing God in my fellow human being. I learned how cold I could be and how compassionate I could be, in the same day no less.So although I can't leave as a conqueror, with task bested, with flag flying high, knighted for the endeavour, excalibur sheathed, I can leave older, grayer, wiser, a different man than I came.I have learned.